minsan akong naging tanga

sa ngayon, iniisip ko nag tumuigil na sa pagsulat.

parang nawala lase ang buhay ko ng nwala ka sa akin.

alam mong sayo umiikot ang mga salta. sayo ako kumukuha ng mga ideya. ikaw ang kulay ng buhay. masakit sa akin ang magkahiwal;ay tayo.

ganun siguro yun...ang bagay na mali kahit kailan nde magiging tama.

pero bakit minsan akong naging masaya.

parang panaginip na hindi ko na matandaan. masakit at hindi ko alam kung hanggang kelan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

mahal kita at mahal pa din kita. pero nagdesisyon na akong bitiwan ka na.

ayoko ng masakatan pa. ayuoko nang mainsulto pa. nde ako ito.

tama ka les, ito ang labang dapat noon ko pa isinuko.

lunod na lunod pa din ako.

hinahanap pa din kita. sumisisid pa din ako pailalim at nagbabakasakaling nandoon ka pa pero, nauna ka na palang umahon sa akin. wala na akong mgawa kundi ang umahon mag-isa at hanapin ang mga nwalang bahagi ng buhay ko.

at kahit ano pa marahil na pagbubura, paliligo at paglilinis ko, ang mga marka at tatak na iniwan mo sa akin ay habambuhay ko nang dala.

napatawad na kita kasi mahal kita pero hindi ko makakalimutan ang lahat ng sakit na ibinigay mo.

sa pagpasok at paglabas mu sa buhay ko, nawala ang dati kong kulay. nawala ang dating ako.

ngayon bagong tao na umuusbong mula sa mga bahaging nahimay at natitira sa akin.

bilog ang buwan, aakyat uli ang mga talangka. habambuhay kitang maalala kahit pilitin kong kalimutan ka.

minsan, naging tanga ako.

bakit sayo pa?

minsan nagmahal ako ng sobra..

bakit ikaw pa?

at bakit mahal pa din kita?

why?

a lot of questions that i need an answer.

before i decided to have that closure, you were already making "courting" that weng girl.
then now, sinasabi mo na ako ang nagsimula?
fucking shit!
i drink fofr three consecutive nighhts. pakialam mo?
lumapit ka uli.
puta!
kinabukasan, kinausap ako nng mga tao sa paligid,
kinausap mu ako pagkatapos,
chagee? ano ba ibig sabihin nun?
i thought all along na ayos na uli tayo.thats why i dont even care about what other people thinks and telling me...
pero sobra na yung ginawa mo.
nabastos ako sa mga ginawa mo.
ikaw mismo ang nagpahiya sa akin.
damn!
ilusyanada ba ako?naging akin ka naman di ba?
minahal mo naman ako diba?
wala akong inaway except sayo.
bakit kelangang magkaganun ang mga pangyayari.
mas pinaniwalaan mo ang mga taong kelan mo lang nakilala
fuck!
ano ba ako sa buhay mo?
parausan?
puta!
hanggang nagyon, iniisip ko ang dahilan para gawin mo ang lahat ng iyon sa akin.

i deserve an explanation. i deserve an answer. im demanding for it.

i mistook his eyes for the stars

i had mistaken your eyes for the stars so i followed you where you went. the sight of those stars made me dream and the dreams were beautiful. but not more beautiful than the lghjt of the stars i thought i saw in your eyes. i chased the stars down to where they stopped and stayed still. you saw me and you said ever so gently, " sorry, you've mistaken my eyes for stars and they

're not"

and i said, ever so gently.. " oh i see that now" and maybe i should have been sad when you were looking at me. they were no stars but they were just as bright, if not more so. "i know they are not stars, " i told you, but i like them, can i stay here to look at them?" i asked you.

and you said, ever so gently" yes you can stay here and look at them" so you let me stay and there i was once and there i had stayed until the time i guess you told me in silence that i have to let you go.

until now, i am waiting in murk for your explanation why those bright stars suddenly became dull and why you did all of this to me..

im hating that girl. i hate her.

there are questions to be asked at the right time... and might as well not to ask it at all...was there a time i am not saying yes to hiM?

DIE
(022052k7)
You die, you lady!
You die for you’re my enemy!
You die, ‘cause of you, I cannot rest!
You die, you gentleman!
You die, ‘cause I love you!
You die, for you’re hurting me!
You die, you lady!
You die, ‘cause the gentleman still cares for you!
You die, for I don’t want things halfway!
You die, you gentleman!
You die, ‘cause of you I’m in pain!
You die! You cannot have two ladies in your life!
You die, You Lady!
You die, so he’s all mine!
You die, and leave the both of us alone!
You die, you gentleman!
You die, so I can have your heart to preserve!
In grave, you’ll see how you ruined me!
You die, you lady!
You die and he’ll be alone!
He’s alone and then, he’s mine alone!
You die, you gentleman!
You die and we’ll see each other again!
Death is good, for he’ll let us to be together!
You die, you lady!
You die, you gentleman!
Together, all three of us die!
You die, my man, you die, you lady!
We all die, man, lady and I!
For this love creates death!
--Death for us, for to love is to die!
--rem!