I know, I’ve made a lot of choices, I know, I’ve made a lot of mistakes but you can’t tell me to grow up or to change. I’m me and it’s not that I’m not growing up. It’s how I deal with my own issues. Sad that it was you who became my sounding board. What’s the use of me writing down everything when you just read it without my permission?
All those things are supposed to be mine, alone but that never happens when I’m with you. You just read them all. And I decide, to just let it out, to speak all about it… and what happens now?
You’ve read my life. You’ve read me, but still, you can’t understand me. Yeah, maybe my life is full of drama, even tragedy. Tell me now, is it wrong to think like a child sometimes when I feel so weak and nowhere to run.
You’ve opened out when it should just be me alone.
It should be mine. It should be.
I lost my world, when I start renting. I simply gave up my room so that I can reach outside of my own dark world. It’s just a room, and I have my own sacred secret life with me. And then, someone open it. Someone not allowed to.
It should be mine. And now, I feel like I’m naked. I feel so weak, so cold.
And no one there’s for me.
I want my old life back but I know that’s impossible.
Is it okay to ask to have my refuge back?
There’s no turning back though, I can’t go back.
I must go forward and continue my journey, and on my way, ill pick up all my shattered pieces.
As the song goes, it will be a long journey and I will find my way home again.
Soon.
12/22/2008
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