Well, there are a lot of things that puzzles me. And amaze me at the same time.
Jed was not himself lately. Gone was the confident man I was once knew. He seems to be in deep thought. Jealousy eating him up and I don’t know why. I cant seem to understand why.
Before, ako kasi yung praning. Ako yung nagseselos at ako yung tumatahimik bigla. Pero ngayon parang nagbaligtad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero naguguluhan ako sa takbo ng utak nya.
Ako na ngayon yung confident. Ako na positive thinker sa amin na kahit anong mangyari kami na talaga. Na kahit anong mangyari hindi na kami magkakahiwalay ulit.
Si jed ang ganun dati. Si jed ang nagpapakalma sa akin. Pero ngayon ako ang gumagawa nun (sana lang kumakalma sya).
Nde ko alam kung matutuwa ako or matataranta. Pero alam ko dapat ko syang hayaan to find himself. And to fixed himself. Mahal ako nun and I know for sure he wont leave me.
Maybe that’s it. I’m confident that he wont leave me no matter what. Why? If he was able to accept me after all that happened to me? That’s something that I need to hold on to. After kong magpaalam sa kanya noon, after ng camp, naghibernate ako. Uprooted myself from the prairie were we both belong and planted myself on a new land, bloomed and blossomed, lived and shared a life with someone else. Maybe, he’s thinking, if I have done it once, I could do it again…
Maybe I can but I chose to stay with him and I will be staying with him for the rest of my life, till my dying breath. Alam nya yan.
Sya ang kaisa-isahang lalaking gusto kong makasama habang buhay. Siya ang kaisa-isahang lalaki na mamahalin ko and he’s the only guy that can give me everything. He filled me with happiness and contentment. And being with him is all I ask for.
He’s my dream and prayer come true. The epitome of my ideal man. The stranger in my dream.
We’ll be seeing each other again this week.
He wished that it would be like before where we are on the same place, seeing each other every day, spending each night together, chattering, dreaming. But its not. I chose a different path and it much better cause he is missing me terribly… (peace tayo, mahal ko! J)
If you can read this jed, then don’t be afraid or don’t let negative emotions bury you down. I’m here for you and I’m always yours. I’ve always been yours. Even those times that I’m not with you. You’re still the man I want to be with. Remember? I vow to love you till my dying breath. I love you.
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