I must say i wish everything was just like before when our love was so simple. when we really hide it cause our eyes shows how much in love we are with each other. But things changed and time changes us. and i really dont know what happened here.
I lost the glitter in my eyes - the love that was there... the stars are no longer bright... and its because a dark cloud came over us. Pain changes everyone. I tried to be tough and build walls around me when in fact its my heart i cant trust. I started despising my heart. I learned to shut her down. everytime, i would listen to my brain who reminds me how hurt i was before. -- and yes, i forgot how to feel the feeling...
but, i cant stay like this. I need to feel the feeling again. but it seems that, my heart turned into a monster since i hid her inside a wall. she cant feel anything, and i needed help.
Good thing is that, the Old Rem never left my side, she was there waiting to be recognized. Old rem helped my heart to heal and turn back into the loving heart she is. But the walls are still strong and its me who can break it up. I dont know how but i will find a way...
I need to break away and learn how to feel the feeling again. My mind needs to forget how hurt I was and my heart needs to get the feeling again...and i hope it would be soon.
Old Rem Promised that she'll help me. and i know, i will be able to get through this and me and old rem will be one again...
One day, my eyes will shine like the night stars -- it will reflect the love that i have for my man once more... one day, i will able to remove the walls that i built and start building our dreams together. and that one day will start now.
I love you bee, i will do everything to make you happy... You're my life.
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